Diablos Rojos

Diablos Rojos. Sounds mysterious and exciting, maybe even a little dangerous. But it’s actually what they call public transportation in Panama. It literally means “Red Devils.” I’m not sure why they’re called Diablo Rojos, I just know they get me where I need to go. And there’s no such thing as a full bus. They just keep packin em in until there are literally people hanging off the steps and doors outside the bus, hanging on for dear life like it’s no big deal. I’ve been on buses where I’m the one standing on the steps, hoping that I don’t fly out the door when the driver whips around a curve and I’ve seen buses go by with people hanging on to the doors like it’s nothing. Imagine cramming 10lbs of crap into a 5lb bag and you’re beginning to get the idea. They’re pretty cheap though, 25 to 35 cents depending on where I want to go and they’re pretty reliable I guess. To be honest, I’m not sure how the system works. I think the driver actually owns the bus, or works for someone who does and they keep the money that is generated from the passengers. They’re basically old school buses from the States that were in such disrepair that we sold them to Panama so they could use them for public transportation. And I must say that even though they’re crowded, hot, loud (sometimes), completely obnoxious, and their diesel fumes can be overpowering, I love them. The owners of these buses take pride in their ride and trick them out like you wouldn’t believe. It’s seriously awesome. It’s like a contest they’re having to see who can have the most pimped out school bus. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. First of all, they chrome the wheels like a pimped out Cadillac Escalade. Then they put on a wicked paint job all over the bus. Front, back, sides, inside and out. They add painted fins and bulbs on top of the bus to give it that shark like charm, add some huge chrome exhaust pipes that extend past the roof of the bus, custom mud flaps, chrome figurines on the hood, and flashing lights inside and out. When it rains or it’s dark outside it looks like Christmas when the bus rolls by because of all the flashing lights. In addition to the paint job inside the bus, they have boa like feathers all over the windshield with some sort of suave saying in Spanish, lots of dice hanging down from the giant mirror that spans the width of the bus, more scented pine trees than you can buy at the dollar store, and long streaming tassels on the steel poles at the top of the stairs that strippers would fight over. Tack on a kickin stereo system and you’ve got one bangin bus.